Have you ever wanted to get away to escape the burden and stress of your compact urban lifestyle? Have you ever thought about what it might mean to let go and let drive a little farther west? Do you sometimes long to be far away, while simultaneously closer to nothing in particular but a Target Super Center?
Are you tired of constantly being surrounded by other like-minded communities of artists? Do you ever dream of what it would be like to be bored and contained, isolated and lonely, disoriented and comforted all at once? Do you ever wish your toilet, teeth and walls were just a little bit whiter?
Take a moment to look down upon your uneven wooden floors. Is it possible you secretly long for the interwoven plush of carpeted spaces under the weight of day, aside the empty hum of the household vacuum?
Is it true at one point in time you've experienced the desire to conform, if just for a weekend? To witness first hand testimonies of genuinely happy, financially savvy, starter kit families? To feel like a kid again, the oldest kid on the burban block? Are you curious what it would be like to place living, loving and laughing first and foremost in your autonomous life, or at least nailed to your walls?
Perhaps you too want to rewind and recline in your laziest middle class roots and dreams. If so, consider this:
My biological roommates are going out of town this weekend....in which case, I'm inviting you to participate in this one-time open call limited space special offer:
Come play with me in the burbs of middle America. I’m throwing the party I never had when I was too age appropriate and awkward in high school.
Terms and conditions below:
This is an "Artist" sleepover. I just mowed the lawn. Please take your shoes off at the door, if you can find the house. It blends in well. You must be a living, non wealthy in debt, semi healthy, and perpetually emerging artist 27 years of age or older to attend. Pajamas are strongly encouraged. The word artist is a negotiable label.
Arts and crafts but mainly fine emerging high immersive art will take place in the windowless basement. Schedule of events and artist activities in no particular order:
A mixture of site specific installations, cardboard sculpture gardens, ASMR reenactments, Instagram live streaming, slow reading poetry readings, found assemblage fort building, low lit deli catering, smiling ice breakers, generous open mics, experimental white noise, hotdog eating contests, truth or dare, live instrumental saxophone jams, 2-year old leftover sprinkle baths, door to door caroling, pinterest renditions, interactive dress up role play, basement beer pong, furniture rearranging, Scratch and Sniff Thermax Sheathing insulation wall games, Pin the Olive on the Loaf family fun, non-narrative film screenings, Bed Bath and Beyond online browsing, coupon clipping mixed media collages, unlimited Free Cell and Solitaire on parents home desktop, make your own glitch art video art demos, Build a Bear workshop, open blind neighbor spy, massage trains, Creative Memories scrapbooking sessions, off brand Pampered Chef parties, hide and seek, Hot Wheels hallway races, Hasbro’s classic Twister, Immersive Dance and karaoke for those unlike me. Corn Hole in the backyard.
Extremely clean bathrooms available on main level. Upstairs hit shows such as Forensic files, Bravo's The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Law and Order and anything Golf Channel will play on continuous loop. New site specific carpet installation recently debuted throughout the house. Absolutely no spills or Harry Potter allowed.
Low speed spotty wifi obtainable in a few rooms. Brand new wrap around cold leather couch free for napping. Drawers of unsweetened applesauce, highlighters, puff paint, blank cards for any occasion, computer paper, Welch’s 100 percent real grape juice, untouched NutriSystem diet plans, empty twin beds, theological reading material, a semi functional unused 2001 elliptical machine, leftover garage sale items, one of a kind HoMedics Percussion Handheld Massager with Heat and dual pivoting heads, along with cupboards of cleaning supplies are available upon request.
Party favors include disposable cameras, your choice of meatball, sliced franks, or original Spaghettios, and 99 cent bourbon shooters. Bring your own Totino’s Personal Party Pizza and one item for show and tell. All other proceeds will be donated to a Kickstarter of your choice. Ecigs permitted, showers welcome. Free laundry to the first two loads of artists. Special appearance, selfie stick assistance and live performance by OR. Other Suggestions welcome.
Apply via slideroom, text or email if you have the time to do so. No phone calls please. Deadline is 11:59 EST Friday May 19 with probable extension and grace period if intentions are good.